This is a bit of an odd-ball entry for me because it really has nothing to do with veganism or the environment at all. However, this is a self-discovery related post which has been a theme for me since the beginning. This is a much more serious post than what usually can be found on my blog but I'm putting my thoughts out there regardless.
I just today finished watching a very... well look, I'm at a loss to describe it... fascinating, eye-opening, thought-provoking, spiritually-conflicting documentary called "The Workshop". It's on Canadian netflix, if you're interested in watching it after reading about my two-bits here, fyi. In a nutshell, the workshop takes place in california on a spirituality retreat that brings people in greater connection to their inner self and their relationships through nudity. The workshop starts out with a look at various people who have come to the workshop and what they're hoping to get out of it. Most people are in greatly conflicted places in their lives where they feel unconnected and lost, and the workshop kicks right off with everyone stripping of their clothes and going around the room meeting each other. The rest of the documentary depicts the journey's of a few individuals, including the documentarian himself.
The story had many levels to it that brought out a number of reactions in me that I'm still thinking about and trying to understand. The removal of clothing signifies the removal of something that defines you. How easy is it to define yourself on what you wear or what job you have or what car you drive? I can understand completely how letting go of those boundaries forces you to connect to the person you are behind the image you put out for the world. It not only causes you to explore yourself, but to allow yourself to be seen just as you are by others. Boundaries for the individuals in the documentary continue to be pushed through sexual encounters. These people start to challenge their own views about relationships and what it means to be honest with others about your thoughts and your feelings. The sexuality of the film becomes a feature discussed quite often, though the documentarian Jamie does say that he feels "sexual" component of the healing is just superficial layer of the changes that take place at the individual level.
NOTE: This is not for the faint of heart. There were scenes that were nearly pornographic... but then I feel bad saying that because I feel the term "pornographic" implies a deviant or "naughtiness" which was so far from the open and vulnerable experiences which were explored. What I found thought-provoking is that I didn't even need to be participating in the experience to start questioning my own beliefs. Watching two people touch each other made me feel uncomfortable. Why? I have no difficulty acknowledging that a sexual connection between two people can be a beautiful, even spiritual, thing so why would I feel discomfort? Is it because I have been brought up in a society where such a thing is frowned upon? At one point, the nature of monogamy is discussed. Is monogamy the natural way or is it something that we have inflicted upon ourselves that opposes our nature and will forever be a source of suffering for us? I've discovered about myself that I have a strong attachment to the idea of monogamy. I can't claim whether it is the the natural way or the right way, but I didn't realise how strong my feelings about it were until being presented with the alternative. Where do our feelings of jealousy and guilt stem from? What can be learned about ourselves through those feelings?
Despite the distractions (sexual encounters, humour around the idea of it being an "alien sex cult", etc.) what ultimately happened for the people who took part in the experience was a great deal of self-discovery and self-acceptance. The leader of the workshop said at one point to Jamie that what he had discovered was what it felt like to be loved by others just as he is, with no judgement, and that the next step was to feel that of himself. I found myself getting quite emotionally involved in the stories of these individuals, which naturally makes me wonder about my own self-acceptance. Do I feel loved, without judgement, for exactly who I am? Am I completely open and honest with myself and those around me? Do I love myself, without judgement, exactly as I am? Do I feel connected to myself? The answer to all of these questions is, unsurprisingly, no.
While I'm not sure running off to california, stripping off my clothes, and participating is orgies is a solution to my problems and my lack of self-awareness and acceptance, I found watching "The Workshop" to be eye-opening and touching (emotionally, you pervs). I feel a heightened need to reconnect with myself and love whoever I find myself to be. On a funny note, I will not be joining the workshop, but I may start participating in some naked yoga in my basement ;)
Anyone else watch a documentary that made them question the nature of life?
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